When "Keeping it Up" Feels Overwhelming AF (A Different Approach to Consistency)

"I know I have to be consistent..."

I've seen so many versions of this sentence show up in my inbox over the years, almost all followed by some variation of, "...but how do I actually do that?"

I was looking through some of the questions I've gotten in the past, and this one in particular was a prime example:

“My main concern about sharing my writing is the doubts I have about not being able to keep it up. I tried it before some years ago, I wrote a few posts and then - nothing. So what can I do to keep the posts coming without me losing interest immediately? And then I have Instagram and Facebook posts to write as well...”

Reading this, I can't help but wonder if losing interest is more of a side effect, not the root of the problem here. If you attempted this before, it didn't work out, but here you are, all these years later and it's still something you feel drawn to do? That doesn't sound like an interest problem.

Phrases like, "not being able to keep it up," and, "keep the posts coming," and, "I have Instagram and Facebook posts to write as well," all stand out to me here.

What does “keeping it up” really mean?

Point is, I haven't posted anything on my website or sent one of these letters since late 2016.

For a while I wasn't planning on addressing the specifics or drawing attention to how long I've been gone from this space.

Why?

Well, for one, let's be real. Most people probably wouldn't notice or really give a rat's ass about what another girl on the internet is doing with her time.

But also, it's because I just felt... embarrassed. More and more with each month that slipped by. I still did a few local design gigs and would jump on social media here and there, but it wasn't the same.

I was deeply craving the conversations + relationships that had grown from writing on the blog and sending these letters. Guilt stuck to me for letting that sense of community fade out, even more so because it was a constant reminder I was basically losing control over the rest of my life as a whole…